One thing that I’ve learned from all these job rejections and rejections in general is to slow down. Why exactly am I rushing to work a 9-5 job? So I can make enough to start a family, to buy a house and car, to travel the world, and get a bunch of stuff, all to fulfill my happiness? Does money really make me happy? HECK YEA! But time makes me happier. I hate being rushed, and that’s how I feel with this process of landing a super job. I have to get a job soon, so I can follow the typical life timeline that I made up for myself. Yes, I blame myself for being so hard on myself too.
I thought that was happiness. It still is, but I’ve learned a different kind of happiness from rejections: living in the moment, enjoying the moment, appreciate the moment. Don’t worry yet, I still have life deadlines to meet for myself, but for now, I’m tire of beating up myself. I’m tire of feeling guilty, which is another reason why I’m not in a relationship. I just expect myself to be really good at it :P And if I’m not going to do it 200% and correctly, I don’t want in; like dude, I am saving all of us from heartbreaks and bullshit. Oh gosh, being hard on myself again. :D Choua, I love you, be nice to yourself.
I never really lived in the present. I was always busy planning ahead or just reflecting too much on the past. This is the reason why I love getting lost and making wrong turns, because the blessing in disguise was for the reasons I mentioned above. I love it when I accidentally don’t follow my schedule. I appreciate it when I wake up and accomplish nothing because my brain was fried all week, some people call it a break. Lastly, I enjoy my spontaneous moments, and those are really rare, but special :D.
No external links today. I want you to enjoy this entry. Alone. Get excited for New Year's Eveeeeeek!
Live. Enjoy. Appreciate
December 30, 2014
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You are being too hard on yourself, remember even superman took some time off of being a super hero. It’s also hard trying to carrying all the weight alone, that’s why it’s good sometimes to trust in others and share the load so it won’t be so heavy. Why do you feel guilty? Cause you’re not up to par with everyone else? That guilt was something I dropped a long time ago. I’m pretty sure it’s not all you; there is probably pressure all around you. Just do what’s best for you even if it goes against the grain. Don’t get me wrong, hard work and making money is a very good thing, but everyone deserves to be happy in their own way if you know what I mean? I admire that you set high goals for yourself because most people just don’t believe or have the will that you have, very inspiring to me. In a way I’m struggling with you and it’s comforting knowing that there is someone else out there like you, fighting and determined, even if it’s not for the same reasons. Balance, one of the key words in my vocabulary, you should make some time to enjoy the little things in life too.
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