Born a Hmong Daughter.

I read a recent post on Facebook of a Hmong daughter who was born with a disability. Long story short, her parents projected that she wouldn’t be able to provide for herself and that her disability may be an obstacle for one to marry her, and also be used to value her dowry at a $0 value.

 J.K. Rowling — 'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.' 

If that’s not a slap in the face for all Hmong daughters, I don’t know what it is. I see the view that she has a disability, but that shouldn’t determine her fate or worth. The people around her should use her disability as a foundation to build her value.

It saddens me that no matter how much one Hmong daughter can achieve, they will not be equal. It happened and happens in every situation possible. Here are just a few situations:

1) DIVORCE: If it's a daughter, no one cares who she has. If it's the son, the husband's side will fight for him. But once the daughter gets married 18+ years later, the father will come reap the benefits.

2) CHORES: At the age as early as eight, a daughter is expected to learn how to cook and clean. Meanwhile, the sons have zero to little milestone expectations. In the old world (Thailand/Laos), sons would go out and hunt with their father. Times have changed, and so should expectations.

3) FAVORITISM: I have witnessed sons getting spoonfed over and over again. A daughter would slave her life away, in every age group, and will not be rewarded as much as the son.

4) HOPEFULNESS: At the end of the day, parents can’t put their lives in the hands of their daughter. This is just disgusting. It’s disgusting that a husband would attempt to ban this. I know for a fact, that I myself personally provide for my parents just as much, if not better, than my brothers. I know that I’m not the only one. There are so many strong, ambitious, and courageous daughters out there that are so much more dependent than their brothers, and yet, her parents can’t put in hope in her.

 I completely understand that this is traditional, but times have changed and expectations haven’t. I’m not saying that parents should suddenly move in with their daughters’ family, but I am asking that parents do not treat their daughters for the gender they were given (scientifically and spiritually). I’m also not saying daughters are better than sons either, but they should be treated equally to the love and opportunities from their families.

As always, thank you for reading. I was inspired to blog by this video. It is in Hmong.