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Just because you won't eat a lion, doesn't mean that it won't eat you.

I read a post on Hmong Love Stories of a guy who dated a girl for five years. He finished high school first and went to a company right after to her throughout her college career. The semester before she graduated, he proposed to her. She rejected his marriage because she needed him to be on his level; work and education. She also feared that society would judge her, "She's so smart, but she's with an average Joe." In the end, she left him and he was devastated from basically investing in someone and believing they were on the same page. I feel bad for the guy, but I see both sides. She's concern for her future and you can't blame her, "Every man for himself." He loved and invested in her when she had nothing, and she's leaving now that she has everything.

My view for this situation will be different from you/others. In my relationships over time, I've learned that character lasts longer. I've seen husbands with a degree that doesn't help their wives while husbands without a degree do. I've seen men with a degree who is so focused on their career, they have no time for other things... But this is actually universal. I realized that you can always make more (or get a degree), but you can never take back the time and things you've said to anyone. There are relationships where people are so busy with their education/career, they don't have time for eachother and they're just together by title. It's like a job that you get pay for not being there. Some of those work out and some don't; it's different for everyone. At the end of the day, at least for me, I need someone there physically for me. That's the kind of relationship I like.

I dislike that people with a degree abuse that advantage. Hmm...how do I explain it. With this situation, she basically said the guy was garbage. I don't know what she was thinking, but for me, I just need to answer one question, "If this person that I am with today has absolutely nothing at some point of their life, will I still want to be with them?" or "Can I surive with this person if we were stuck on an island together?" That's where character comes in. I need a person that's patient with my own mood swings/randomness. I need a person that can control their own temper. I need a person that can forget/give up their pride at times. I need a person that's willing to listen to me. I need a person that cares about others. There is so much more that a degree alone does not make the cut. As cliche as it sounds, a person with a degree and money can never make me as happy as someone with a big heart. Yes, yes, yes that won't feed my stomache or pay bills...but I'll be happy. "You're not rich until you have something money can't buy."

I'm finally seeing how naive I have been, and maybe that was the guy's situation too. "Don't mistaken my kindness for weakness." I tend to think people have good intentions, even if they were influenced by any bad. I go in relationships 200% too many times, but we're taught to test the waters. I guess that's because my parents have always gave me 200% and expect nothing in return or nothing much of me. They love and care for me no matter what kind of decisions I've made or make. I also treat people with a fair playing field. They're not the ones who did me wrong, so why should I treat them for what someone else did? What I failed to realize was that I don't/didn't even know if I was getting a fair game. Cliche, but it was my mistake to think so positive of the world.

My theory is that if I focus on being good then I'll be on the right track. What I've also noticed in other relationships similar to this, and it could also be the point of view with the girl, is that some men tend to stop the chase. They think if they do the minimal of not cheating then it's enough to keep a girl, "I don't know why she left me. I was a good person and never cheated on her." Maybe he got lazy on his end too and thought that just supporting this girl was enough to keep her.

A relationship is more than just being loyal and faithful; you're just there for being there sake. It's doing something that keeps it going; no, I'm not asking you to be on your game 24/7. When you first met them, you were so excited to see, be, and hang with them. Why does this die out after YYY amount of time? It's so easy to see the flaw in others, but have you ever asked yourself the same questions or look yourself the same way? You've also changed too; I'm a victim. What I've learned from my relationships with anyone is that you have to chose them everyday and that girl simply quit on him, no matter who the better person was. "Just because you won't eat a lion, doesn't mean that it won't eat you." Thus, just because you won't leave someone, doesn't mean they won't leave you; just because you're there for someone, doesn't mean they'll be there for you; and lastly :( just because you love someone, doesn't mean they love you. Sad but true. But be strong and don't fall into the dark side and become eville or heartless. May everything work out for everyone. Have a wonderful week! Thank you for reading :D!

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