You know those times when somebody needed you to do stuff for them or someone to do something for you? For example, taking someone to work. Then one day, they're like, "I got a car, so you don't have to take me anymore." Sometimes it's a blessing...but that wasn't my situation. I was devastated. I had helped them so much with their need, and they tell me I'm free from helping them? I was actually hurt. The truth was, I was hurt that I was no longer a need. It felt good to be needed. It felt good to simply be there for someone. It felt even better that they acknowledged it too.
I've told my family or friends that I don't need much and I also work on my end to not need/ask for so much. Therefore, when I do ask, see it as an opportunity. Fortunately with the financial that I’ve been needing, they’ve all been to the rescue. But hey, I earned it too. I’ve never let them down either. There were times where I felt like my parents weren't doing much for me, but it was just all me.
I guess this was why when we finally ask my parents to help us do something as adults, they're kind of excited or make it their priority. Here's a story. My dad jumps on the mission to fix cars when we get into accidents (so sorry father). He's super on top of this. He reports to the insurance, go over the guidelines/qualification, and even does his own rate research. I'd always get mad that the actual person who caused the incident didn't do the research because my dad barely knows English and that makes it hard to communicate...until I was the person who caused it. Even though I knew English, I lack car research skills. However, my dad took over the responsibility, even though it is a 'fatherly' job anyway. But you see, I'm 'Miss Independent' and try not to bother my parents with financial or physical labor. In fact, I told them to save the gas and drive from visiting me when I was in Whitewater. My father also took on the mission to find my brother a car when he decided to work on his soul searching journey. I was like, “Father, he’s 21, let him learn.”
But little did I know, my parents saw these moments as opportunities. They never stop giving to begin with. As you grow, you become more independent and ask less or need less help (or else I'm just alone on that mindset). That's why when you finally ask your family to help, they kind of look forward to it. Of course, don't do it all the time too; that's abusing. I'm glad we didn't abuse our parents’ assistance, and as a result, they looked forward to helping us. In hidden messages, it's a cause for bonding time.
I watched an episode of My Name is Earl the other day. His younger brother would act helpless and clueless, not because that's who he is (or is he? lol), but so his older brother can be the 'older brother.' In my case, my friends have told me that I need to be less 'Miss Independent,' so my partner feels needed and appreciated. But I thought that would make me a burden/luggage. But but then, that also backfired when I felt I wasn’t ‘treated as a lady’ too; I’m into shopping sprees and manicure stuff too! Seriously though, my theory was that my partner should want to spoil or be good to me out of their own liberty, not because they have to 'man up' or meet society standards. I don't know, just be a good person and get/do things for people you care because YOU see that it’s a need for them. For example, oil changes or anything related to car maintenance :D
So if you are a giver, it’s ok to ask sometimes. And if you are an asker, learn to give. Try not to see it as an inconvenience or that someone is ‘using’ you. Just be a good person and give while you can, because your actions reflect who you are. If you were being ‘used,’ just believe that karma will make up for you and the opposite for the other person. Kindness and compassion comes in other forms; landing a job, raise at work, random free stuff, and good days. Thank you for reading as always; I know, this entry was long.
I guess this entry reminds me of Yes Man by Jim Carrey. I’ll have to watch it later.