If This Is What A Marriage Is, then ...

It's not the 1900's anymore where a wife will bow to their husband and give up without a fight. Maybe it is still that way for some people, but not me. I don't care if it's 2016 or 1900, I expect my spouse to put in as much effort as me. Maybe out at family gatherings where I need to "play the role" of a woman, I'll put on a show. But in the home, I am an equal. It's easy to say it now, but I have no idea what I will actually do. I come from a home of seven girls and a culture where men are Gods simply for their gender. This point of view might just be me alone.

In any and every relationship, I carry my weight and try to go beyond it. It bothers and will piss the shit out of me if my future spouse ever thinks born a "male" gives him less (human and spouse) responsibilities. I've been to so many Hmong gatherings where the wives cooked and clean, while the men sat their asses waiting for the food and then sat their asses again when they finished the food. Some of these wives probably work all week/end and go to these gatherings to cook, and their husbands probably don't even acknowledge it. How many of them even get foot massages?  On top of it all, some of these women are the ones financially contributing to have any food to make.

The other day I was at a  gathering. I cooked with the other women. Everyone ate. Then I helped cleaned. While doing dishes, I thought to myself, "I've stood for the past 2 hours, got a chance to sit down while I ate, and now I'm standing again doing the dishes...is this the life I want? Is this life for me? Is this what my spouse think a relationship or marriage is?" Sure, you're probably thinking what I've done and do is nothing compare to the generation before me and I'm complaining. Heck yea, I am! I don't get it. Why are some people sitting down and some busting their ass off? Can't we just all help eachother? I don't care what gender I am. The house, kids, money, and everything in a marriage should come from both people involve.

Not everything has to be split down the 50/50 line. It's really just communication. For example, my sister takes care of all the indoor and light work, while my brother-in-law does the heavy and outdoor work.

I don't know if I'll ever get marry because apparently "expecting" a man to do as much work as he expects out of me is too much work. In one word, hypocrite. So yea, I have some "high" expectations for any man I end up with. He is expected to get a job, so he can contribute financially. He must do the dishes because he eats too. He should appreciate that I put on a fake show that he's a superior to me outside the home. I know where this masculinity mentality comes from, but it's stupid and nonsense. So lets say we both worked all day, but I have to take care of the kids and you don't? I can't do that and I won't, so I might just end up alone because I refuse to bow to anyone who's not a feminist.

One of my exes (or maybe all of them) and I didn't really get along because of that; I was just wayyy too dominant for them. I wouldn't back down on things that didn't matter. I argued when it was unnecessary. But that's because I've always lived on the quote of "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything" so I just speak my mind all the time. And then I learned that not every needs to know how I feel everytime too, so I'm getting better at it.

Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed this funny piece.

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