10 Times I Was Sorry, But Not Sorry For Being A Woman, Especially A Hmong Woman

This entry is dedicated to my hard working Hmong sisters and mothers. I have sat with you and heard the simple things you ask for in a partner and family. You are all amazing and you truly do a lot for your families.

I'm sorry, I'm not sorry for:
  1. Not looking forward to slaving my time away for you or your family, especially at events when I am expected to cook and clean and you're just chilling out. I'd love to come to events more if I'm just sitting my ass around and getting fed. 
  2. Expecting you to do the dishes, laundry, and cleaning before and after your income job; sometimes in front of the 'public' eye. It simply needs to get done.
  3. Not having dinner ready for you because I also get off work at the same time (or I was couponing for us/family)
  4. Not having breakfast ready because I also want to sleep in or cake my face
  5. Not picking up after your shit because you are an adult
  6. Expecting you to split a bill because I'm not the only one living, eating, driving, and existing
  7. Not sharing your vision of having children and your only responsibility is a paycheck
  8. Asking you to put your family first
  9. Not being a Hmong woman that fantasizes a life of cooking and cleaning :D
  10. Being called rebellious because I simply ask for respect, accountability, and responsibility
  11. Sorry, I'm not sorry for having my shit together, not giving a shit, and sometimes putting my shit first :D 
  12. Sorry, I'm not sorry for being strong, motivated, and ambitious just because my life isn't about being in the kitchen.


This list was inspired by Demi Lovato's new song, "Sorry, Not Sorry" and expectations of being a female and being seen as a failure for "not doing" what she's "supposed to be" doing. I've observed my mother, aunts, sisters, and other female figures at gatherings and it irritates me of how much expectation there is for a Hmong female. It's even more infuriating when asking a male to lift a finger to get things done is as if they've sold their soul to the devil to help us.

I also watched Reese Witherspoon's recently speech for Women of the Year and was just so inspired. This is just part of the speech, but you should find a full version and watch it.


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