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Validation

This weekend, I got to sit down with two singing contestants, Xee Tong & Jakie Chang, for an impromptu interview, which I also learned a lot about how to be properly prepared. There was something that they and I, even YOU, shared in common, validation. I was actually inspired about this topic from this funny video:

How could a girl that would never date me be the one that would validate me?
While ignoring an amazing girl, doesn’t that sound frickin crazy?

I applied that to other parts of my life. How could a job that would never hire me, be the one that validate me? I was just tired of feeling that way. I was tired of feeling like I wasn’t good. I was tired of:
Dear Choua,
We appreciate your interest in SOME.BS.JOB. at NOT POSSIBLE and the position of BULLCRAP for which you applied. After reviewing the applications, yours was not selected for further consideration.
The selection committee appreciates the time you invested in your application. We encourage you to apply for posted positions with our program in the future.
We wish you every personal and professional success with your career search and in the future. Thank you, again, for your interest in NOT POSSIBLE.
Sincerely,
Someone who didn’t even look at your resume to begin with and just needs to get this process over with
I was simply tired of getting rejected. As I got a chance to meet these two contestants in less than 10 minutes, I concluded that we owe it to ourselves to validate our strengths. I sensed that they both felt that they needed more support beyond their main support group. That's ok and ideal for anyone that’s working on anything, but I don’t think that’s necessary. But who am I to validate them on the positive side either?

If anything, I think we really need to put effort in what we live or work for. Do not let those 1 or 10 people validate that you’re not good enough. I believe that if we surround ourselves with positivity, we will overcome it. Don't hurry and tell me that you also need a mix of the bad for success either. You do, but only a small amount. Would you enjoy being around someone that tells you that you suck at life everyday? I believe that leads to low self-esteem, then depression, and ultimately suicide because it feels like shit. So if you enjoy being around negativity, be my guest. There's a difference between encouragement and just plain douche

For rising singers, artists, whoever, yes, start a youtube account. It doesn’t matter who’s listening or watching, yet. What matters is that you’re putting your efforts out there. As you continue to upload videos, you will improve...look at how ugly my guitar skills were; you can’t get worse than that! I will leave you with this quote, Rome wasn’t built overnight, so start working on your dreams. You have two choices: shut yourself down every time you think no one wants you and your talent, or push that aside and just do you.

Feel free to share about how you handle this feeling

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3 comments:

  1. People that try to bring you down, those are the people you Should cut out of your life. unless it's family then you change there minds with action. But it is hard sometimes when everyone around have no faith or believes in you or themselves. It's you aganist world almost, it will be hard but it only makes you stronger. Yes, It's good to seek like minded individuals, that's why I read your blogs and check out your videos for motivation. :) I use to do vlog a long time ago but stopped. I love Working with music and video/film too. planning to get back into it since I have time now and I feel it would help me to reach my goal. I feel your struggle, I agree, as long as you put work into it and constantly improve, you will get there! Maybe Sometimes you feel like your the one carrying all the weight on your shoulders, that's what leaders do. Yep, just stay positive. ;)

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  2. Ok, first of all that rejection letter friggggin hilarious!!! lol...

    As for validation, I think that the hardest person for you to give validation to is yourself. At least it is for me anyway. When I was younger. I was always trying to get my validation from others (i.e. my parents, older friends when I was a teenager, girlfriends..). But, that's like trying to run a race that has no finish line. Oddly enough, it seemed like I tried even harder to get validation from people who could care less about me (like that one friend's cool older brother or my boss at the golf warehouse who, despite the fact that he signed my paychecks for 4 years, called me Jason the whole time I worked for him). How does that song go? "The ones who love us least, are the one's we'll die to please... The ones who love us best, are one's we'll lie to rest."

    I'm still a people-pleaser/peacemaker at heart, I think. But, I have found some inner piece and have confidence in where I'm heading and have stopped trying to get my validation for my direction from others. I think at one point I just said to myself, "If I get one life to live, I'm going to give it all I got. If I get the chance, I'm going to be who I am instead of who I'm not."... Ok, maybe I didn't say exactly that and maybe I stole that from a song, too. But, hey, I think it fits.

    Anyway, if people want to hate? Fine. Let'm. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not everyone is entitled to their own facts. And the fact is that we all possess special gifts that make us unique individuals. It's hard to go against the status quo, and show our shine. But for those of us who can...do it!! Follow your dreams.

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  3. I love how lively you sound in your entries as you are in person! Love everything!

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