I've had my job for over six months now, and I guess I never really imagined myself there/here, with my "title" and responsibilities.
It may be hard to believe, but I struggled with my self-esteem growing up. It took me a while (exactly 18 years; no, I'm not 18) to believe in myself and what I could do/be. I've accomplished some pretty amazing things, but when you're Asian, female, and a refugee, how does one dream?
When you grow up with basically ZERO influential Hmong leaders (unless you want to go in the army like GVP), it's almost impossible to dream because you don't look, speak, and act the part [of a Caucasian]. I honestly didn't really dream...I just knew to avoid pregnancy and marriage.
I've always seen Caucasian females for my position. I never thought I'd be the center/main headquarter for so many employees to communicate with. Anyway, so after six+ months, I think I'm pretty good at this. In fact, it was kind of over rated when I applied for the position. This position showed me that most of the time, it had nothing to do with skills I actually have (which I don't want to brag, but is pretty above average) and almost what the hiring team "feels." I have truly proven that I have the skills in what I do. I've always been able to communicate with non-Hmong people; I just see everyone as my teammates and we have one goal: get shit done (and make money in the process).
I'm telling you guys, this whole "interview" thing is just a game of feelings.If I wasn't given this opportunity, my self-esteem wouldn't have upgraded (and validate my worth). Before this, I was just the "assistant" who ran the show and the bigger person got the credits. I've always had these skills, but just never had the opportunity to be in charge. The Caucasian appeared to be a bit better because they had a better conversation at the interview and the main audience. Psh. I'm telling you guys, this whole "interview" thing is just a game of feelings. Do they "feel" like you get along with them? Do they feel like you're "White" enough? Do they "feel" like you'll be accepted there as an employee? For lack of opportunities, I will give half the lack of my success for that reason. But hey, this is only a call for YOU to CREATE your own OPPORTUNITIES, like channel your loves and hates on blogs like me :D.
Today, I'm telling you that you are good enough and there are simply doors not ready for you to enter and people not ready for your perspective. Do not give up. Do not think any lower of yourself. Do not try to be someone you're not. Be you. Tell your story. Claim your accent, if you have one. You are an amazing person. You work hard. You are equal to all the opportunities out there. You will have to work a little harder, but you already knew that. You will get there. Do not quit. And if you continue to get reject, smell the grass for all of us who are too busy working. :D