Sunday, November 22, 2015

2015 OOTD

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Why You Should Buy Plane Tickets From Their Official Site

Sometimes when you buy a flight through a third party, you get some pretty decent deals like "$15 off your flight" with some code. It makes you think you're saving, but you're not (most of the time). I've been looking for a 1 way back when I booked a super awesome deal departing flight two weeks ago and now not having luck due to running on a preferred schedule. But that's the kind of decisions you have to make, do I run on my schedule and pay more or do I save and take a bad time home?

This morning I've put to test for these third party tickets to see if it's worth the promotional "savings" they advertised. You can see the pictures for yourself. I used the same date, time, and airline for each results.

1. I couldn't get the $20 off when you sign-up promo to work, but even $70-$20, it's still $50.
2. This one wasn't that bad. It was only .10 more than the actual flight. If you could rack up points through one site and stay constant/committed to it, it could earn you some goodies.
3. Depending on your situation, you might have to add another $5 if you choose your seat than being randomly assigned.

Next time you book a flight, you'll save more if you use the airlines' site than a third party. Not just that, you can choose where you want to sit for the same price. Third parties don't make that charge clear. Thanks for reading, safe travels now.





Thursday, October 22, 2015

Excuses

I think it's so unfair when you start a relationship with someone and you get the bad end of them, as if you did something wrong to them, but you didn't. It's all the relationship before them that makes them so guarded or what not. Like, what did I do to you?

I also think it's so unfair that after a break up, someone else gets the best of them. You're just like, what did I do? All I needed from you was to get a job to support your hobby and make time for me. And here you are with this new person with a frickin job. Fooh, I was the one that spoiled you and you're giving someone else that feeling other than giving it back to me? You are really dumb, for real. 

This one time I ran into an ex awhile after we broke up and he told me how he got a job and he's on the right track. Then there's this other one who would never leave his nest, but he decided to go beyond his boundaries after we broke up. Lastly, this guy who was fit and active, but the show stopped when we started dating, then it continued after we broke up. Why do they do this to me? I don't know what took them so long, but our time had passed. I don't believe in on and off relationships. If you're going to do it, do it right the first time.

Yes, no one's perfect, but I didn't want or need perfection. I just wanted someone that was alive and cared for me, and they all failed at it. But hey, it's no one's fault I go all in all the time. I just thought I should treat someone the way I want to be treated.

When you love someone...you somehow have these effort and energy out of you to give. The words flow in ways you've never heard. All you can think of when you watch/see something is, "Wow, I can't wait to show him/her this." You wake up unconsciously asking yourself how much more you can give, "What did I do yesterday? How can I make today better?"

It's love when you wake up with them on your mind and the last thing before you sleep. But I've learned that love is about giving to each other endlessly and effortlessly. Why would you hesitate to give your significant other the world? If you find yourself hesitating, it's not love. Let them go. We all deserve someone who gives us the world as much as we give them. Love has to be 100% from both sides.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Up in the Air | Flying TIps

This post was requested by my sister, the05experience. I have 30 minutes to sum up some traveling tips before going to work! Ever since I flew to Vegas and back with Spirit Airlines for less than $100 (MSP --> LAS) in 2013, I told myself to never pay more than that, unless I'm desperate, but I always find a way.
  1. Try to plan 1-3 months ahead. The earlier the better.
    1. According to this, 47 days ahead!
    2. Tuesday at 3 p.m. EST
    3. Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday are typically the cheapest days to fly
    4. More tips for me to listen to later!
  2. Buy from the closest major airport, or it'll automatically connect the flights from your smaller airport if it connects without you knowing and end up thinking "I can fly right from here." Just weigh the costs of driving to the major airport or not. For example, if you're flying alone, it'll cost you about $30, so you might be better off saving yourself that labor and cost. Meanwhile, if you're traveling with a group, split the $30 and fly from the closest major airport.
  3. Baggage/luggage rules. For me, this "included personal item" is more than enough. I mean, the luggage fees cost more than the actual flight, lol! Spirit has the most expensive luggage fees. So if you have a lot of stuff, your luggage might cost more than your flight. But hey, take that as an opportunity to pack better and smaller so you can save. We don't even wear half the things we pack anyway!
  4. Carry on - Since it's a luggage/item that won't be put in the cabinet like a 'checked' bag, you will have to follow TSA's liquid rule, which is basically to have all your liquids under 3oz and in a ziploc bag. They didn't question me when I had foundation in my make up bag.
How do you actually buy a cheap flight?
  1. Go through a site that already did the work for you when looking for the cheapest flight. Sometimes a simple google "ORD to LAS" (airport codes, Ohare to Las Vegas) does the job. Otherwise, cheaptickets.com, edreams.net, or farecompare.com, are my favorites.
  2. Once you find the cheapest flight, then go to the actual airline site. For example, Spirit showed up as the cheapest, go to their site.
  3. Once on the site, you might even see promos, like:
  4. Also on the site, you can actually choose your seat for $5+ or probably free if you waive that liberty. Booking through the actual airline site is how you can get a window seat!
  5. You can also view a monthly cost of tickets if you change the settings to "monthly" with whatever site you're using.
  6. Sometimes doing a roundtrip might cost more because it's kind of bundling. I recently started buying just 1 way tickets for each way separately for costs. For example, it costs $30 to fly there and $100 to fly back. But I don't want to pay that in case the $100 back drops, but I also don't want to miss the $30 there too. So what to do? Just buy the $30 there while it's cheap and wait for the back. You're going to pay that $100 regardless, so might as well wait. But the risk is up to you.
    1. Also with that method, I was able to get a rewards/rebates card back for making a transaction. So technically, I made 2 transactions, but sadly it was done by me, and most polices are "per customer." So maybe you can buy them with different accounts to qualify more for rebates or what not.
  7. Since I drive 2 hours to ORD, I need to park my car. Fortunately there has been groupons for $6 PER DAY PARKING! Like any place, do not leave any cash or valuables. You park there and they shuttle you to the airport. Make sure you calculate this time if you go with this option.
    1. go to Use this link, then just look up parking in the city where you are departing from.
  8. more later

What's the best deals I've gotten?
I just flew to ORD to ATL for $100 round trip. That recent Frontier promo just cost me $25 from ORD to ATL. I purposely fly out of holiday, which are also blackout dates for many promos.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Sprint's Iphone Forever...like 4-eva-eva?

Wow. I almost fell into the Iphone 4eva Plan with Sprint. After doing minimal research, I am glad I made the contractless switch with Cricket. To keep your life simple, just stick with buying a phone off craigslist and go prepaid; no taxes and shhtuff...but it depends on your lifestyle. My life wasn't and isn't in demand for top of the line-save-the-day phone service.

This article basically says that the AT&T Next plan is the worst one due to the total end of life/contract cost. The person did the math for you and puts it in the most simple chart to read. IF YOU'VE NEVER WANTED TO SPEND TIME READING SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE, YOU HAVE TO READ THIS TO SAVE YOURSELF SOME MONEY.

I'm glad the light out of this new phone means a huge resell of iphones that were well taken care of in Otterboxes. I'll gladly take them for the right price. I sense new iphones are losing value because the current (and old) ones does the job just as great. This is simply called planned obsolescence, a product designed to fail in time for the new product to shine. Whoa...I could totally rewrite that English 102 paper for Professor Elizabeth Kim now. Yea, that class was fun! All we read for English was how we/society are self-destructive through invention, especially technology. DAAANG, I sound so smart now :D Yea, look at me now puhahaha!

Read more about planned obsolescence here: http://www.economist.com/node/13354332

This if for you lazy people who won't read the article, I've put the main event here. Credits to CNN:
Click on the article if you're finally convinced here: http://money.cnn.com/2015/09/25/technology/best-iphone-6s-plan/


Thursday, September 24, 2015

25k in 36 months


Can you believe a few blogs ago, I asked for a 40k+ job and I got one? So yes, be patient. I thought that with that amount, I would change my status from AWESOME --> I'M FRICKEN AMAZING, but it didn't. I still feel the same, but just can payoff more debt now. So I'm excited to announce my student loan plan!

I'm just after being debt free. Paying my student loans in 36 months = 3 years! After doing the math and really preparing myself physically and psychologically, I can do it. So that cat I almost wanted...out the window. I can still shop; I mean, I already budget myself to only $50/month. In addition, I'm going to sell clothes online some time soon. Anyway, here's the plan:

I have autopay for $265/month = $3,180/year
2nd job/additional $300/month = $3,600
========totalling = $6,780/year

Balance of $25,481.99/$6,780 = 3 years and 7 months, but that could be cut down from the auto deduct and the second job, and also raises over 3 years if I stay with the same job.

However, according to the math of .25 when you auto pay, the real balance could be $19,110.75, which knocks down a whole year...

Aiming for 3 years is the plan. However, the actual balance from each payment will hopefully knock a few months off. I can't wait to take photos of each time I knock down a payment.

--This is the effective plan:
1) Call Navient to split my payments bi-weekly. (I called and they only do monthly withdrawals on their end, but if you pay on your end, you won't qualify for the .25 autopay discount. The choice is yours.)
2) Start with just $100/month extra from my bank's bill pay. If you don't have to make the effort to write/send it, you're not as attached to the money.
3) Work 2nd job and all of that pay goes toward loans
I also plan to do the snowball method mixed with interest rate:
01. $871.79
02. $3302.62
03. $5568.73
04. $1563.20
05. $1560.20
06. $3302.62
07. $5568.73
08. $3916.16
09. $2561.44
10. $2668.30

In 3 years, I will be done with student loans && my car payments. That means sky high credit score, just in time for buying a home! I'll have my 401k going and my own personal savings. And in 3 years, KP will be 17 and he's in line for my car. Yes baby, you can have it and I'm seriously getting a 5k car after my car. I am waiting.

Here's a TEDtalk to motivate paying off debt: Adam Baker - Sell your crap. Pay your debt. Do what you love.

Learn more about paying back student loans here

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Helpless. Limited. Stuck.

My sister (from ibobpebteach.blogspot.com)  planned a road trip for my family a few years ago. We took my parents' SUV and the Mazda. We were probably two or three states away from Wisconsin when the SUV was at the edge of its life. In a household of mainly girls, none of us knew what to do; we waited for my dad. I hate the fact that I've always expected my parents to have all the answers to life, ever since I was a child to even now. I mean, we the children were better candidates to get help because we spoke the language.

Anyway, we sat and waited there like little kids again, waiting for my parents to solve the problem. That was when I felt helpless. I knew nothing about cars, how was going to help my dad? It also hit me that my parents must've felt this way so many times when I wanted an answer/help from them that they didn't have the answers to. It's really crazy how you change from knowing the world to knowing nothing at all as you grow. Kind of like trusting and thinking the world (more like people) is kind. ...and it's heartbreaking when it's not. :( Life can be so unfair :'(

I felt so limited at that point. My dad was the only candidate/option to rely my needs on. This feeling motivated me to work so hard in life, be academic or just work. I never want to feel limited in life for any reason. I don't want to be limited to what kind of jobs I can apply for. I don't want to be limited to just my job; I don't want to just rely on my job for the rest of my life. As a future parent, I don't want to tell my kids 'can't'. I learned from a lot of job application research that "We are all temporary employees," no matter how long we commit or have been at a job. Sadly, nothing is truly promise in life.

Lastly, my family was stuck (just for like 3 hours). Being stuck-not moving forward- is the worst feeling; you're just waiting for it to be over. It feels like a boundary you can't get across. I just never want to feel that way, whether it’s my job, success, or relationships. I mean, life happens, but you have to make an execution plan. I’m grateful to live a limitless life at the moment and look for challenges where I can. Fortunately, I make enough to pay for the resources I need.

Something can always be done. That can be my down fall sometimes; I’m not a quitter where my heart is willing. For example, I was going to settle for a 26 hour drive to GA and back, but I didn’t have to be stuck with that. Instead, I kept an eye on flight tickets. You can do anything in life. You don’t have to feel helpless. You don’t have to be limited with your resource. You don’t have to be stuck in your situation if you don’t like it. I leave you with these quotes to make progress in life:

“Falling down is how we grow. Staying down is how we die.” – Brian Vaszily 

“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong


For reading today’s blog, I’ll share my dream with you all. I just want to blog and vlog and generate income from a food stand that gives me a reason to travel, hoping I find a job that’s part time but comes with full time benefits…hey, that’s my current job, lol. I can work like 30 hours here and still qualify. Lol! I can work like 8 hrs/4day and have Fridays off! Wow!!! This entry was awesome. See, life can be done :D thank you for reading like always.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Window Shopping

Just online window shopping the night before payday. I must control myself and stick to my strict budget. No shopping, so I'll just post this on my blog to feel better.

Cedar Street - monday' crossbody bag

Textured Floral Body-Con Dress



Thursday, September 3, 2015

H&M Picks

Friday, August 28, 2015

Giving Is A Rare Opportunity

"We only have what we can give"

You know those times when somebody needed you to do stuff for them or someone to do something for you? For example, taking someone to work. Then one day, they're like, "I got a car, so you don't have to take me anymore." Sometimes it's a blessing...but that wasn't my situation. I was devastated. I had helped them so much with their need, and they tell me I'm free from helping them? I was actually hurt. The truth was, I was hurt that I was no longer a need. It felt good to be needed. It felt good to simply be there for someone. It felt even better that they acknowledged it too.

I've told my family or friends that I don't need much and I also work on my end to not need/ask for so much. Therefore, when I do ask, see it as an opportunity. Fortunately with the financial that I’ve been needing, they’ve all been to the rescue. But hey, I earned it too. I’ve never let them down either. There were times where I felt like my parents weren't doing much for me, but it was just all me.

I guess this was why when we finally ask my parents to help us do something as adults, they're kind of excited or make it their priority. Here's a story. My dad jumps on the mission to fix cars when we get into accidents (so sorry father). He's super on top of this. He reports to the insurance, go over the guidelines/qualification, and even does his own rate research. I'd always get mad that the actual person who caused the incident didn't do the research because my dad barely knows English and that makes it hard to communicate...until I was the person who caused it. Even though I knew English, I lack car research skills. However, my dad took over the responsibility, even though it is a 'fatherly' job anyway. But you see, I'm 'Miss Independent' and try not to bother my parents with financial or physical labor. In fact, I told them to save the gas and drive from visiting me when I was in Whitewater. My father also took on the mission to find my brother a car when he decided to work on his soul searching journey. I was like, “Father, he’s 21, let him learn.”

But little did I know, my parents saw these moments as opportunities. They never stop giving to begin with. As you grow, you become more independent and ask less or need less help (or else I'm just alone on that mindset). That's why when you finally ask your family to help, they kind of look forward to it. Of course, don't do it all the time too; that's abusing. I'm glad we didn't abuse our parents’ assistance, and as a result, they looked forward to helping us. In hidden messages, it's a cause for bonding time.

I watched an episode of My Name is Earl the other day. His younger brother would act helpless and clueless, not because that's who he is (or is he? lol), but so his older brother can be the 'older brother.' In my case, my friends have told me that I need to be less 'Miss Independent,' so my partner feels needed and appreciated. But I thought that would make me a burden/luggage. But but then, that also backfired when I felt I wasn’t ‘treated as a lady’ too; I’m into shopping sprees and manicure stuff too! Seriously though, my theory was that my partner should want to spoil or be good to me out of their own liberty, not because they have to 'man up' or meet society standards. I don't know, just be a good person and get/do things for people you care because YOU see that it’s a need for them. For example, oil changes or anything related to car maintenance :D

So if you are a giver, it’s ok to ask sometimes. And if you are an asker, learn to give. Try not to see it as an inconvenience or that someone is ‘using’ you. Just be a good person and give while you can, because your actions reflect who you are. If you were being ‘used,’ just believe that karma will make up for you and the opposite for the other person. Kindness and compassion comes in other forms; landing a job, raise at work, random free stuff, and good days. Thank you for reading as always; I know, this entry was long.

I guess this entry reminds me of Yes Man by Jim Carrey. I’ll have to watch it later.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

How Do I Maintain My Size?

Many people have asked me how I’ve maintained my weight/size over the years. The answer is simple for me, management. I noticed the most drastic changed for girls was sophomore year in high school, which aligns with puberty, so that could be another factor to weight change. But I am not here to talk about the major factors of weight gain or loss. I’m just here to share my story of how I manage my weight. Your weight has to be a lifestyle change, not a short term “beach body” goal before summer. What tends to happen is that you go back to your normal routine because that was just a goal and you reached it or what not.

Lucky me, <---this isn't a challenge. I don't do it for just 7 days, it's a lifestyle and that's my secret to maintaining my size. I probably have alcohol about twice a month, but it's a total of probably 4 cans and 6 shots.

I've always been this size ever since I stopped growing, probably about ages14-16. For some people, this size is a treasure, and for some, it's trash. Whatever your view is, it's your view and I'm not gonna hate you for it. This post is just about how I've maintained my size. These tips are not just for anyone my size or wanting to be my size; it's just healthy habit tips. Take/leave what you want.

Side history: First of all, maybe I do have an advantage of my metabolism. Supposedly it works fast to keep my body size the way it is. I've never actually tested it before, but I do wake up some mornings and get super hungry. I've always kept myself active as a teenager, but it's never too late to start an active lifestyle.

1. Water - I drink and order water at restaurants/fast food 90% of the time. I played soccer in high school and cut soda out of my life since then. I probably drink 1-2 cans per month.

2. Stairs - Take the stairs as often as possible and everywhere you can.

3. Walk - Remember how I was carless in college? Walking to campus was the only reason I had any exercise. That was my blessing in disguise!

4. Workout when you watch tv - Just get down and do some crunches or push ups. If you can do this every night for 10 minutes, that's a good start. I used to watch a whole movie mixing crunches and stepping steps/chair together. That worked my belly and butt :D

5. Limit alcohol intake - Again, fortunately and unfortunately, I am not a professional alcohol consumer. No, don't mistake that for alcoholics. I respect anyone that enjoys alchohol as a daily part of their liquid intake as long as they can afford it, be my guest. I can't drink a lot of beer/liquor, therefore I also don't like beer. In fact, I'll eventually create a mix drink that tastes like Gatorade, because that stuff is good!

6. Portion - You don't have to starve for days to enjoy food. Just watch what you eat. For example, just eat 1 ice cream instead of 2 even if you want 2.

7. Have a size icon - Sure, I'm lucky that I am my size, but I've always had that goal too. Growing up, I ate what the media fed: tall and thin. There was this K-pop girl group that I thought were super cool because they were so much taller than the other girls. SES was like 5'3 and under, but Baby V.O.X were 5'5 +. In my head, I used to think, "I want to look like them when I grow up."

There are many ways to change your size, and some of my ways may not be your style too. Your weight/look can't be a short term goal, it has to be a lifestyle of being, looking, and eating healthy. Remember, you are in control of your life.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Confession of a Student Loaner

The time has come that I face my biggest fear in life and it's not even death, but it pretty much is: student loans!!!! I say that with anger and unhappiness. This month is the start of my 20k+ student loan payment. I will be paying the rate of $270/month and it varies for everyone. This entry will tackle things no one shares when they confess about their loans; most of the time we blame our degree and how it had caused us debt. But it's not, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." It was a simple formula; don't go to a school or chose a major that costs $50k+ to get a degree that makes $30k.

As much as I want to be an innocent victim of student loans, I'm not, so are many people who claim to be so too. Like many Asian immigrant children, I didn't want to go to college in the first place. It was mainly a dream to fulfill for my parents that they wanted me to benefit from. My loans were a horrible decision I made and regret to this day that I can't blame anyone else but myself. But it was so easy to just click "accept" and wait for the refund check to splurge on things I didn't need. I can't blame my loans for putting me in debt; I fell for the bait; shame on me. Anyone can graduate college without debt.

1) High grades = qualify for many scholarships. Unfortunately, I'm not as smart as I appear/sound to be, so my grades never made it to that requirement. Or if it did, someone else was at a 4.0 that I couldn't compete, so I quit the scholarship route. So if you have amazing grades, keep it up because you would basically get pay to go to school! You are awesome!

2) Work and save. I knew this guy who worked for the school newspaper and all year round just to pay his tuition. He didn't want his parents to worry or worry after he graduated. I should've done the same thing, but I didn't. I bounced between work-study and non-work-study jobs; I have no one to blame for my lack of work credibility. I also chose to live off my refund money to pay for my missions; regret and also don't regret that.

I also accumulated so much loan was because I went on two oversea travel studies. The loans suck, but the memories were truly everlasting. To this day after I graduated, I haven't really gone anywhere. Had I not took those loans, I would've never set foot outside of the US. But hey, try to get good grades to qualify for grants/scholarships. That would've helped pay my travel studies.

My loans also paid for my rent and fed me for 3 years. If I could start again, I would have never accepted those loans and took only what I needed, and pay for my living/everyday expense. I also want to add that I worked toward my degree field, but that wasn't going to pay me to stay alive. I was worried for the longest time that I wouldn't be able to pay my student loans, but I'm glad my current job pays me enough to pay it now.

So how do I feel about my loans? More like what do I want to blame my loans for? I blame my loan for causing me to have a low debt-to-ratio when I need to buy a house. I blame my loans for not shopping because I have to pay it first. I blame my loans for not saving. I hate my loans, but that was my decision. But hey, "I have a college degree."

-----------Just a quick sidenote about college in general
1. College isn't for everyone
2. Everyone doesn't have to go to college to be successful
3. Going to college doesn't default you to be successful
4. Just because you have a college degree, you'll get a job (or can be an ass and rub it in everyone's face)
5. Not having a college degree doesn't degrade your value

College is basically an accessory to your resume. Your success is all up to your own will and college is simply a stepping stone feature. There are plenty of ways to become "financially" successful. You can stick with your high school job and move up the ladder. You can just go after a demanding degree, like IT (Information Technology). A good amount of people just go to college. It works out for some and it doesn't for some. Your life is what you make of it; don't blame college or anyone. In fact, I work for an engineering firm and some of these people make more with their associate degree. It's all about how you market yourself and your network. I mean, look at the people who got famous through social networks. In fact, some people are living off their own youtube channels. That's my dream, but I don't live a normal life for people to relate to. I like to just watch movies and surf the web. Ok, I'm kidding. I go on pretty cool soul searching missions.

5 tips about college
1. Make sure you major in a demanding field, like IT, nursing, doctor. sounds like your parents, huh? (but I was rebellious and did what my heart wanted and graduated with a degree that isn't a need) :P
2. Just have good grades. Quit partying and buying alcohol.
3. Work! You need a good work history after you graduate too.
4. Some friends are forever and some are just for the moment. Be careful who you invest in.
5. If you feel like quitting...don't. Unless you're going to get an IT degree at a technical college :P

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Grateful and Blessed

I am so thankful for my family and Josh for being a part of this second relocation of my life. The first time I left home was for college in UW-Whitewater. When I decided to move for my job, I felt the same fears as I did the first time, but just a little bit heavier. Rent was no longer coming out of my student loans or refunds; that means I have to work and be good at it to have a stable and consistent income to provide me housing until the lease is over. You see, in college, you get a chunk of money (applicable to only a few), then you use it. In real life, you work first, and by the time you get pay, life happens and your pay is gone. I wasn’t worried about rent, because it was easy to save a chunk of it first hand. I could do the same thing with my current situation, but it’s different than college; student loans + car loan + car insurance + rent. Back in college, all I had to worry about was where the next adventure was.

Reflecting on my parents, I am so amazed at how they did it and still continue to do so. Let me also top that with little to no English literacy and speaking skills. Seriously, I get pay more than she does, but I am failing at life :(. Ok fine, I just need a few months to be financially comfortable.

I’ve been really emotional, as you can tell in my previous entry and lion photos on my FB, because I just can’t believe and soak in the willingness, distance, and heart my family and Josh has gave to me in this transition. I try to do as much as I can alone, so it’s rare that I ask for assistance. “But if you don’t ask, the answer is always no,” and I finally asked because I was in need. Parents were understanding about my car. Sister #2 saved a dresser for me. Sister #3 picked up a dining table set. Sister #4 + brother-in-law let me stay at her place until I found an apartment and helped financially, along with Sister #6. Josh’s sister’s bed.

When I compare my first apartment experience to this one, it doesn’t even compare. Back to the whole “Miss Independent” thing, I didn’t ask anyone for help. I had to carry and assemble my dining table. Only a few people were nice enough to help me move the sofa; haters gonna hate. I was bed-less for a whole month because I didn’t have a car at that time to move at my own convenience, so I didn’t want to nag anyone. And oh gosh, financially was I hurt. Any kind of shopping sucked. I biked to Wal-Mart for pretty much everything, which was about 15 minutes away. I couldn’t buy much due to only whatever I could fit in my backpack, but it’s ok and it worked out anyway. Although those were horrible days I lived through, it made me a stronger person.

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.”

I’m so grateful for the support from my family and Josh at this change in my life. Every time I reflect on the struggles I've overcome or even when I'm going through one, I think of this quote as a coping mechanism:

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Just because you won't eat a lion, doesn't mean that it won't eat you.

I read a post on Hmong Love Stories of a guy who dated a girl for five years. He finished high school first and went to a company right after to her throughout her college career. The semester before she graduated, he proposed to her. She rejected his marriage because she needed him to be on his level; work and education. She also feared that society would judge her, "She's so smart, but she's with an average Joe." In the end, she left him and he was devastated from basically investing in someone and believing they were on the same page. I feel bad for the guy, but I see both sides. She's concern for her future and you can't blame her, "Every man for himself." He loved and invested in her when she had nothing, and she's leaving now that she has everything.

My view for this situation will be different from you/others. In my relationships over time, I've learned that character lasts longer. I've seen husbands with a degree that doesn't help their wives while husbands without a degree do. I've seen men with a degree who is so focused on their career, they have no time for other things... But this is actually universal. I realized that you can always make more (or get a degree), but you can never take back the time and things you've said to anyone. There are relationships where people are so busy with their education/career, they don't have time for eachother and they're just together by title. It's like a job that you get pay for not being there. Some of those work out and some don't; it's different for everyone. At the end of the day, at least for me, I need someone there physically for me. That's the kind of relationship I like.

I dislike that people with a degree abuse that advantage. Hmm...how do I explain it. With this situation, she basically said the guy was garbage. I don't know what she was thinking, but for me, I just need to answer one question, "If this person that I am with today has absolutely nothing at some point of their life, will I still want to be with them?" or "Can I surive with this person if we were stuck on an island together?" That's where character comes in. I need a person that's patient with my own mood swings/randomness. I need a person that can control their own temper. I need a person that can forget/give up their pride at times. I need a person that's willing to listen to me. I need a person that cares about others. There is so much more that a degree alone does not make the cut. As cliche as it sounds, a person with a degree and money can never make me as happy as someone with a big heart. Yes, yes, yes that won't feed my stomache or pay bills...but I'll be happy. "You're not rich until you have something money can't buy."

I'm finally seeing how naive I have been, and maybe that was the guy's situation too. "Don't mistaken my kindness for weakness." I tend to think people have good intentions, even if they were influenced by any bad. I go in relationships 200% too many times, but we're taught to test the waters. I guess that's because my parents have always gave me 200% and expect nothing in return or nothing much of me. They love and care for me no matter what kind of decisions I've made or make. I also treat people with a fair playing field. They're not the ones who did me wrong, so why should I treat them for what someone else did? What I failed to realize was that I don't/didn't even know if I was getting a fair game. Cliche, but it was my mistake to think so positive of the world.

My theory is that if I focus on being good then I'll be on the right track. What I've also noticed in other relationships similar to this, and it could also be the point of view with the girl, is that some men tend to stop the chase. They think if they do the minimal of not cheating then it's enough to keep a girl, "I don't know why she left me. I was a good person and never cheated on her." Maybe he got lazy on his end too and thought that just supporting this girl was enough to keep her.

A relationship is more than just being loyal and faithful; you're just there for being there sake. It's doing something that keeps it going; no, I'm not asking you to be on your game 24/7. When you first met them, you were so excited to see, be, and hang with them. Why does this die out after YYY amount of time? It's so easy to see the flaw in others, but have you ever asked yourself the same questions or look yourself the same way? You've also changed too; I'm a victim. What I've learned from my relationships with anyone is that you have to chose them everyday and that girl simply quit on him, no matter who the better person was. "Just because you won't eat a lion, doesn't mean that it won't eat you." Thus, just because you won't leave someone, doesn't mean they won't leave you; just because you're there for someone, doesn't mean they'll be there for you; and lastly :( just because you love someone, doesn't mean they love you. Sad but true. But be strong and don't fall into the dark side and become eville or heartless. May everything work out for everyone. Have a wonderful week! Thank you for reading :D!

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Love Her

I saw this post a couple time and wanted it on my blog :D

“Love her …when she sips on your coffee or tea. She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you.
Love her…when she "pushes" you to pray. She wants to be with you in Heaven.
Love her…when she asks you to play with the kids. She did not "make" them on her own.
Love her...when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you.
Love her…when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You have them too.
Love her…when her cooking is bad. She tries.
Love her…when she looks disheveled in the morning. She always grooms herself up again.
Love her…when she asks to help with the kids homework. She only wants you to be part of the home.
Love her...when she asks if she looks fat. Your opinion counts, so tell her she's beautiful.
Love her…when she looks beautiful. She's yours so appreciate her.
Love her...when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look her best for you.
Love her…when she buys you gifts you don't like. Smile and tell her it's what you've always wanted.
Love her…when she has developed a bad habit. You have many more and with wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help her change.
Love her…when she cries for absolutely nothing. Don't ask, tell her it’s going to be okay.
Love her…when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate, rub her feet and back and just chat to her (this works!).
Love her…when whatever you do is not pleasing. It happens and will pass.
Love her…when she stains your clothes. You needed a new shirt anyway.
Love her…when she tells you how to drive. She only wants you to be safe.
Love her…when she argues. She only wants to make things right for both.
Love her…she is yours. You don't need any other special reason!!!
All this forms part of a Woman's Character.

Women are part of your life and should be treated as the Queen.
• Treat the women well.
• The best of you are those who are the best in the treatment of their wives.”

Original story here: http://islamicwallpaper.tumblr.com/post/7242353674/love-her-love-her-when-she-sips-on-your

Father

I was extremely tired at work today, like I wanted to fall asleep right at my desk. Of course, I'm getting pay to get my stuff done, so I couldn't just sleep. I decided to go out and sit in the sun for just a bit to wake myself up. There was another older man that exit the same time I left. As I sat down, I heard his car start. It was the type starting that the car works really hard for 5-10 seconds. Then he backed up and accelerated. The acceleration was bad too, I couldn't recall the sound. However, I recalled some of the hardest times of my family's transportation struggle. It's these memories and moments of hardship that push and remind me to work hard everyday.

This happened before my family moved to where we are now. My amazing supermom had already worked for a couple of years and my two older sisters finally picked up a job at the local Chinese restaurant buffet to help the family financially. (Oh gosh, these days were hard and sweet TT__TT). One of my vivid memory was this one winter when my father picked me up before picking them up from work. I don't even remember how this car looked like, but it was probably a boxy Toyota; maybe sky blue too. It was soo cold that night and I was probably just the age of nine going on ten.

All I remember was that we waited outside for them in the cold and it was so cold, but we couldn't keep the car on because that ate gas and what not. I didn't understand at that time why my dad couldn't keep the car on because other dads did for their kids. Not just that, I even had the the most small minded head to question my dad in my head, "Why would he not want to keep me warm?" Gosh that was so selfish and ungrateful of me to think that way. Anyway, my sisters got off work and got in the car. I don't even remember how much they were even paid, but the owners were really nice to them.

My sisters' excitement to work and help my mom when they were old enough to work inspired my own work ethics. I remember being young and hearing about the bills and thought to myself, "When I grow up, I'm going to solve all of mom's problems." Sadly, after many years and a bachelor degree, I am just a little closer to that dream. The dream is still alive.

Back to the story. They got in the car, and my dad started the car. The car made the same sound as the one I heard today during my mini chi moment. That sound were the days my parents struggled and saved every penny for us. For me to have this moment. For me to work at an office with a/c on a hot day. For me to not lift a muscle to keep my body healthy and live longer. For me to work short hours with a bigger paycheck. For me to have a better life than them. For everything I have at this moment. For that, nothing can ever repay them for the struggles they went for me (and still ongoing :D #kidfohlyfe).

My father was always the driver for the family. He'll pick us up after school, and being in a big Hmong family, that meant every building of the school district. He did this all the time. In addition, he even took our friends home sometimes. That's why I expect my siblings' friends to take care of them too and I be mad-doggin when they hatin. This makes me question my readiness for parenthood because I don't even want to go to the store some days for my own needs. Not just that, he busted his driving skills to pick up other family relatives too. If someone didn't have a car, they knew they could count on him to transport them.

Before I relocated this month, a young family needed someone to take them to the hospital for a baby's appointment. Even though they didn't live with my father, he still went across town to take them to the appointment. Although he makes funny decisions, and ones I don't agree with, he is still my father at the end of the day and he gave me everything he could. (He also enjoys doing passport photos and application on the side :D!)

It's just been such an emotional day/s lately, so I had to share this. Yes, it came from the heart, so I hope yours was touched :P. When you're feelind defeated, just remind yourself that "It's not a bad life. It's just a bad day." Thank you for reading like always.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Flashback Friday: Don't Date In Highschool

Back in exactly December 12, 2011 at 6:26pm, I wrote a note on Facebook about teen dating. Working at a high school in the past year, I came across one of my student today, so this post is dedicated to her and anyone dating in high school. Take what you want and leave what you don’t like.

When I was younger, I had no real idea about dating. I just thought it was a thing to do. I’m definitely sorry to my exes at that time; sorry, I had no real idea what I was doing. I realized I didn’t put any effort in those relationships. I didn’t ask dates to ask off work. I didn’t ask what they wanted to do. When I shop, I don’t automatically think about them. They weren’t the first or last thing on my mind. I didn’t even really think about them. (Now that I’m older, this is all automatic. I be like, "oooohh, this would be pretty good on Josh.")

I was more focus on school and work (still am). It was great to have someone, but I think I was just really looking for a friend. And I was bad at that; telling guys that I just wanted to be friends. I didn’t know how to tell them. I sucked at being a “social teenager.” But it’s ok. I take great pride in that.

There is no real purpose in dating at such a young age. Most of the time, you or your partner don’t even own your own vehicle to run at your time. You probably don’t even have a job. I mean, I have always worked but I found that many boys/men actually do not strive for employment until 18+, even some are still jobless at 23+. Girl, don’t bother with this guy. He doesn’t even care if he has money to gas up to see you, take you out to dinner, get something for your birthday or some random day, and so many more. I’m not saying money buys happiness, but it helps. So, everyone, please get a job.

Right, a relationship isn’t about money. But think about how you’ll get into a simple movie theater; money. Think about how you’ll provide gasoline in your cars, money. And if you can’t provide your own, you’ll have to ask your siblings/family. It’s just so much more work. Just chill out and enjoy being a kid. Go to school. Join a sport. Do your homework. These simple things are super attractive when you get older :P

So quit chasing relationships in high school (save yourself from the heartbreaks), especially if it’s not a healthy one too. Just work on yourself. My favorite memories were with my family and friends. I never looked back and ever thought, "Prom was sooo fun with TSG" or "That one time TSG was so nice when they did this." Ok, ok, ok, I might be a bit bias from my own tragedies, but come on, most guys, especially in high school, are not intellectually-relationship developed. For all they care, they just want to game, be a ricer, be the life of the party, and so much more. They're still working on their rep while with you. Don't be a part of that. If this person you're with is a joke and not committed, get out of it. Make your own timeline; be on your own "game." You deserve better.

It’s a simple formula. Get good grades (or I guess, at least just try to graduate). Join a sport. Become president of a club. Make money. Make your parents happy. Get your family awesome Christmas gifts. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, don’t add someone else’s shit to yours.

Basically, when you’re young and especially in high school, dating life can suck; strict parent regulations (curfews, really? I'm 13 and old enough), carless, broke joke (even if you have a job, or maybe I just have high expectations for myself). Of course, true love prevails.

On a sidenote, this Flashback Friday idea is kinda cool. Maybe I'll bring old notes on Fridays to keep the blog active. :D As always, thank you for reading.
“To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others” ~ Buddha
 --BTW: This note was written back in 2012 and I still feel the same about it. As you can tell, I’ve always had an old soul.

No college degree required careers

 According to CNN, here are 19 top careers without a college degree:
  1. Air traffic controller – Annual income: $102,030
  2. Storage and distribution manager – Annual income: $66,600
  3. Transportation manager – Annual income: $66,600
  4. Police and detectives supervisor – Annual income: $64,430
  5. Non-retail sales manager – Annual income: $59,300
  6. Forest fire fighting and prevention supervisor – Annual income: $58,920
  7. Municipal fire fighting and prevention supervisor – Annual income: $58,902
  8. Real estate broker – Annual income: $58,720
  9. Elevator installers and repairer – Annual income: $58,710
  10. Sales representative – Annual income: $58,580
  11. Dental hygienist – Annual income: $58,350
  12. Radiation therapist – Annual income: $57,700
  13. Nuclear medicine technologist – Annual income: $56,450
  14. Child support, missing persons and unemployment insurance fraud investigator – Annual income: $53,900
  15. Criminal investigators and special agent – Annual income: $53,990
  16. Immigration and Customs inspector – Annual income: $53,990
  17. Police detective – Annual Income: $53,990
  18. Police identification and records officer – Annual income: $53,990
  19. Commercial pilot – Annual income: $53,870
According to the the U.S. Department of Labor, 2 out of every 3 jobs only require on-the-job training. You want great jobs with no college degree?  There you are.  If you’re competing for one of these jobs, going to college could actually hurt you.  Why? Because the other people competing for that job will have had 4 years of experience while you were hanging out at Starbucks with your laptop and iPhone.


http://wealthpilgrim.com/19-great-jobs-without-a-college-degree-and-how-to-get-them-fast/

Monday, June 15, 2015

I am An Old Soul

This article was sooo accurate about myself.

1. They’re homebodies: I’ve always loved staying home more than anything. I wasn’t into the whole partying every weekend thing, at least when I was in a relationship.  But even when I wasn’t, I didn’t feel the need either. I had more fun staying in and watching a movie. In fact, I need to make a movie review video soon. I have about 10+ to recommend. Maybe I just won’t add the ones not worth watching. Even in college, I wasn’t into that whole partying thing and people saw me as a party pooper, which is ok. Call me weak, I don’t really care and drinking is not my forte.

2. They love the little things: I always tell Josh about the little things he does for me. I mean, I’d love a new canon lense, but it’s the little things that touches my heart more...or should I say melt, because I appeared to have a cold heart before. Even the simple gifts is what gets me, like shampoo and contacts! Those are necessities and they’re expensive!

3. They can be a little bit weird: I don’t even know how to explain this, but I am weird sometimes, especially the way I view things. Sometimes I doubt and ask too many questions...but I just want it to be a smart decision...

4. They are able to connect with you and others very deeply-Old souls don’t really go for superficial acquaintances: For real, I have my family, Josh, and 3 good friends. I’m not a hater; I’ll still have conversations when I see people, but like, I just don’t need 50 friends blowing up my phone, especially freeloaders and people who refuse to do their own research.

5. You find yourself learning a lot from them: I think most people would say that they learn something from me; #teamfaithfultalk all the time and education.

6. They don’t play games: For real. I’ve been told by both sides of the spectrum that I play too hard to get or I’m too nice/leading people on. Uh, I don’t play games. We’re just having a conversation, let me know if you need me to make anything clear. “Games” are a self-fulfilling prophecy, so whatever keeps you alive.

7. They may come off as apathetic: I am so bad with compliments. It doesn’t sound genuine even when I do mean it. I feel like I need to do a speech whenever I say one, so that it’s convincing. LOL, which is why Josh always gets like essays from me hahaha.

8. Their love is unconditional: Yea, I just love because I love. I’m not into bribing, but sure, gifts and donations won’t be rejected. Don't tango alone.

9. They aren’t likely to cheat: Yea, I like a drama-free life. It’s always pretty simple with me. No one can make another person love them.

10. Old souls inspire you to do better: I think most people I’ve met have felt this way especially when I talk about education, they’re like, “Gosh, you’re so passionate about it.” Unfortunately, I am not working in that field; maybe when I’m 40+!

Read the full article here: http://higherperspectives.com/love-old-soul/